Our Free-Sperm-Donations.com site was created by
Emma Hartnell-Baker - also known as The Child Listener - in 2004.

Fertility Choices is an expansion- bringing you information and
message boards also relating to adoption, surrogacy and
egg donation around the world. Fertility Choices will also offer more helpful
resources to help you with your subsequent pregnancy and journey into parenthood - we hope you enjoy our new 'A Focus on the Children' Section

Emma Hartnell-Baker BEd Hons, MA, Cert Life Coaching
is the creator of 'Sperm Donors Worldwide' which changed to
'Free Sperm Donations' in 2005
Her aim to was help create choices for single women, lesbian and infertile couples

As a child and teen behaviour advisor and family therapist Emma
will be answering questions and writing articles relating to parenting a child born from alternative methods such as adoption, surrogacy
and sperm donation

The first thing you need to do before even embraking on this journey,
is to consider how you will deal with the questions your child may
ask as he or she grows up.

Working out in advance who you’re going to tell about your decision - including family, friends and strangers - and how you are going to
tell them is also essential. Remember that people tend to be much more supportive of decisions when people are honest with them
- even if it takes a little while to adjust to the idea.

Being open right from the start will ensure that being donor-conceived is not something to be embarrased, ashamed or confused about.
This makes it far easier for the child who may be asked some difficult questions from people as they grow up.

In some situations the child is being raised by a heterosexual couple, where questions may not be asked by children and adults, as the assumption is that the 'father' is also the biological father.
However it is still important that the child knows their history and that honesty plays an important role even if this may be something you feel could be avoided

In many cases the woman is single or within a lesbian relationship.
Child are naturally curious about others, however they tend not to judge, unless they have been shown or taught to judge. Children accept different lifestyles and family set up far better than many adults. So the earlier you openly dicuss (in an appropriate manner according to the level of understanding and maturity of the child) their own family set up, the more matter of factly they will view the issue, and answer related questions.
In the modern world there is no 'normal' family. All families are different- whether this be through divorce, separation, unprotected sex.....families are created in many dfferent ways.
The main thing is to ensure that your child is being offered the best opportunity to thrive and to feel loved unconditionally, safe and protected.
To do that you first need to look inwards, and ensure that YOU are emotionally healthy and secure. You are the most important role model for your child- and in order to best equip your child and help them to gain inner strength and confidence, you need to first give yourself that gift.

I am really looking forward to answering your questions and
reading of your experiences.
Welcome to 'Focus on the Children'!

The Child Listener


The Donor Conception Network provides information on "telling and talking" and personal accounts from parents with older children about how they told their children about their origins.


Find out how other parents have coped with life with teenage donor-conceived children in the personal accounts at the Donor Conception Network website.

Useful Web Sites

• The National Gamete Donation Trust provides information and support for donors and donor recipients, and is trying to raise awareness about the shortage of donated sperm and eggs in the UK.


• ACeBabes is a charity which offers support to people expecting or parenting a child conceived using assisted conception methods including donor conception. It is run by parents who have been through infertility and fertility treatments themselves, and is another source of advice on telling a child how they were conceived.

• The Infertility Network UK (INUK) offers information and advice online, by phone, face-to-face and at local support groups.

Contact us to suggest a new listing

The Child Listener will try to answer as many of your questions as possible - please click here to ask related questions or make comments you feel would be useful to Fertility Choices web site visitors

Fertility Choices- Connecting women and infertile couples with fertility specialists and organisations offering help and advice regarding egg donation, surrogacy, sperm donation and adoption around the world